Tuesday, October 19, 2004
i need hope..i need God
couldnt take the intense pain in my knee no more..decided to go to the doc.
the doc dropped yet another bomb on me. the exact one that blasted me 6 years ago. she told me, my cartilage is gone..like my right knee and i have to stop dance and netball and all sports. she just smiled at me as if it wouldnt make any impact on me.
my reactions aint big when i first heard it. its nothing new to me and i thought i could handle it better now than 6 years ago. but when i couldnt ignore the pain, when i hurt until i cant walk properly..the truth came creepin in.
i cant imagine the days without netball or dance or just sports. from there i derive my confidence and my happiness, not from the way i dress or from comments i heard, but from where i found myself. if im not a dancer or netballer, i guess there's nothing much i could excel in as well. i guess i wont have any other strength to be anyone too.
no one will ever understand how i feel..not just the pain in my knee..but the splitting ache in my heart. so dun tell me things like "it will be fine" cos it aint..just leave me alone.
Sunshine ; Tuesday, October 19, 2004
