Wednesday, March 23, 2005
too bothered to care, too tired to think, too lousy to hv it, too hungry for it tho..do i want it? can i hv it?title of this entry totally sums up my emotions now. probably someone do understand but it doesnt matter to me cos at times i dont even understand myself so i dont expect anyone to.just had my observation today and it didnt went as well as i tot. however the grades were better than i expected..expected to get a few Cs but thank God, there wasnt any. im thinking if im teaching to get all the good grades or teaching to benefit my students. would i be able to strike a balance? at the end of the day, even if i cleared my syllabus, did i benefit my students? when i attained my objectives, did the students achieved theirs? in a results driven environment, have i touched students' lives or rather, have i ruined their learning journey? should i teach my students that results are not everything? what is meritocracy? is it all about product only? have we forgotten the process? i flipped d papers these days and saw many ad on teaching. "how big is ur classroom?" the world vs the science lab. so talkinjg abt creativity huh? how much time am i given to teach? how much work am i required to complete? how many students are there in the class? how many students are problem free to the teachers? how many other things do i have to commit to in school?so tell me now, how big can my classroom get?is education just abt results and creativity? what abt the values? what abt the child's life and thinking? what abt listening to the small voices around us?cutting syllabuses vs losing the values of education...which is more important? completing the syllabuses vs providing a holistic education..which is taking over now?someone asked me: "why do u want to teach chinese?"me:"it has always been an ambition since young. there is a need to spread many interesting ways to learn chinese..tho i was taught the traditional method but i still love the subject. so i decided to share my passion."now im wondering how long would i be able to sustain this passion to teach within me. ..sigh..
Sunshine ; Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
random updates..
- i do want to slap you right now, across yr arrogant face and send you to the wall. just bcos u have someone as ur mum doesnt mean you can fool ard in MY CLASS!! u beta be smart and watch out.
- i have super friends, ivy is a supermodel, yve is a superstar.
- finally get to teach.
- having observation aft i got to teach for just 2 days..
- super unfit.
- plagued by pimples.
- learning to be happier.
- losing my voice aft 1 day of teaching.
- extremely exhausted.
Sunshine ; Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
You're an ESTPESTP(seems everythg is true abt me..)You're action-oriented...pragmatic (look it up!)...outgoing and realistic. In situations that require resourcefulness, you use your quickness and flexibility to find the most efficient route to accomplishing whatever needs to be done. You are lively....entertaining...fun...like to be where the action is.... like to participate fully in what's going on.... you are direct with your comments and don't mince words.... you are at your best in situations that require an orientation to the present and a direct, no-nonsense practical approach. You're active, easygoing, and spontaneous...extremely realistic...curious and keen observers...charming and popular...you're outgoing, versatile and have an endless supply of jokes and stories for whatever situation you find yourself in...ok, you're funny too! You can be good at easing a tense situation... You like(d) school because it gives/gave you a place to meet friends and to be involved in activities. Oh, yeah. Education and academics were there too, but you don't care so much about THAT. You're action-oriented...likely to be on a sports team or other after school activities.
You'd rather DO something rather than read about others doing activities. You like hands-on experience...you like it when expectations are realistic and when the explanations for a task are clear. You like teachers that are entertaining and make learning fun and active.
You like crises 'cause you can dive right in and fix things. You like to make things happen quickly.... you're willing to take risks, aintcha? You can take charge readily, ESPECIALLY in crises...you can react and make it work...you love leisure and kicking back...you're probably involved in sports, as a fan if not a player... You're a daredevil at times...as a fan, you're pretty animated and excitable. you like collecting things related to a hobby...you like people who "live on the edge." A perfect partner for romance would be one you can do fun things with...sharing life's up and downs...you like to use your persuasive- ness and fun-loving nature to win over the opposite sex... You don't like dull routine, even in your relationships....it makes you feel confined...you're pretty straightforward with the relationship, including recognizing when it's over.... Watch out for these things, though...don't over-rely on improvisation.. while you might like putting out those fires, that's no reason to create an emergency...you'll just overload from stress...don't sacrifice follow- through in your work to meet the problems of the moment...don't get too focussed on material things and ignore the things that count, like other people...stop being so blunt and direct! Think about others' feelings... ESTP: "Everyone Seems Too Proper"
Sunshine ; Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Thursday, March 10, 2005
all these days..
have been posted to sh for 3 weeks and i have not started teaching..others already having their observations this week and im still stuck in the lounge, getting irritated by all the opening and closing of the door. was told by my sup that i have to prepare 4 observations within 2 weeks. knowing that i wun be able to perform under pressure, i told him i want to give up 2 observations but he told me to try..sigh..i dun want to try so hard to impress and mess up my practicum leh. anyway all have been fixed and i cant wait to see myself dead.
doing nothing in school has turned me into a grumpy woman drowning in melancholy. i dont even know wat to blog, yy..not that i dont want to.
pleasant surprise given my angel yesterday who presented me with candies and chocs. yum yum...waiting for revelation night so that i can know who my angel is.
najeeb finally msged me..i thought i lost my best friend. miss him so much, i didnt even get to see him for the past 2 years.
i want a new book.
i want phantom soundtrack.
i want to eat sakae sushi.
i want to go marche.
i want to sleep.
i want to graduate.
i want to get of the lounge.
i want to see myself play some good netball.
i want my knee to heal.
i just want to be happy...A
Sunshine ; Thursday, March 10, 2005
