third day of meeting and it was slightly bearable..i sat thru the meeting yesterday and i could felt the tears welling in my eyes. i asked God why is it He posts me to a good school for my future but not for my emotionally? i asked God why am i so unhappy everyday? every day i sturggle with my feelings, if im unhappy means im unhappy with God's plans. i dont feel like i have any form of support in the department. i feel like a glass there, people just look through me.

i knew i will get misunderstood one day and it happened. well how can you expect me to know everything in just a few months' time? i dunno whether i should shut myself in future or still ask when i dont know cos everyone's words cant be trusted totally.

why God? why is it you have to show me all these? is it to wake me up? is it to let me know that no one is nice and kind? what must i do to pass the test?
Sunshine ; Wednesday, November 23, 2005

JANET
J	is for	Joyous
A	is for	Amazing
N	is for	Naive
E	is for	Exuberant
T	is for	Tolerant

i am so not a tolerant person!!
Sunshine ; Monday, November 21, 2005



The Noble Princess
You are just and fair, a perfectionist with a
strong sense of proper decorum. You are very
attracted to chivalry, ceremony and dignity.
For the most part you are rather sensible, but
you are also very idealistic.
Role Models: Guinevere, Princess Fiona (of Shrek)
You are most likely to: Get kidnapped by a stray
dragon.

What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
brought to you by

Sunshine ; Monday, November 21, 2005


how come i cant see my blog when im in office? too sensitive to the unfriendly environment huh..anyway seems like ill be with 1s and 2s..splendid arrangement, now i can fetch justin and bring him home together. ok i can go for the courses i intended to sign up for now. looks like nothing is true, even from the horse's mouth..hmm prob not the correct horse that i ask.

i had the most unbearable afternoon today and it seems like it will be the same for the next few days. hopefully it will be better tmr when i get to sit with my gang. the meeting was extended for an hour and i could not wait to leave.

ok off the msn with sk..now i can continue to blog. i was saying..whatever la, i just dont like where i am now. how am i gg to survive in the dept? with no friends and no joy..sigh..2 more years..only 2 more years. i want out.

someone said, "he can only be the one if you make him the one. there is someone better but how long and how far can you search?" for one moment i was thinking how much sense it makes. no one comes wrapped in a parcel which has your name on the tag.

xmas is coming and i cant wait..
Sunshine ; Monday, November 21, 2005


its quite boring to stay at home, having nothing to do. am i going to spend the holidays just rooting away at home? perhaps i shd plan something exciting.

thanks to my diarrhorea, i simply do not have enough energy to wander out of my house. i want to go church in the evening, so please God, just make me feel stronger later so that i could attend the last swordlight class.

i miss my darlings in school..other than that, not much incentives to go to school everyday. with regards to school, am i supposed to send tow teams up for poem recital competition when i only have one day with them this week? why do things just for the sake of doing it? sigh...daniel is right, we get to do crazy things here.

much said from an ill person.
Sunshine ; Monday, November 07, 2005