players and umpires.

i umpired at least 5 netball games, i have seen umpires who cant umpire, players who cant play, players who want to be an umpire while playing. apparently, everyone went through a change during IHG period, even myself. we do things which we wont usually do during games, like we challenge the umpires' call, even to the extent of intimidating them and we do fanciful play. i was pondering why didnt we display this kind of behaviour during IVP games or OSL? then i realised the reason is jiaolian. when he is around, no one on court would display any other kind of court play other than what he expected us to do, no one would ever dare to challenge the umpires' call. we just played our game dutifully. how magical. how disciplined jiaolian can turn us into and how different we are without jiaolian. its like a cat and tiger thing.

im pretty sure jiaolian will be very disappointed and disgusted, if he knows how we are trying to manipulate everyone, on court and off court.


Sunshine ; Thursday, December 30, 2004


meow meow..*scratch scratch*

A mango lover is a personality to be reckoned with, quite often you
are a person who has quite fixed ideas, and influencing you is not an easy task. You tend to be an extremist with strong likes and dislikes, and times even like to control a situation. You enjoy getting involved in something that presents mental challenge. Strong as you may be, you are like a Kitten when you are with your partner. You accommodate the love of your life, and make up for all the strong will elsewhere!

sounds like who i am..meow meow..

Sunshine ; Wednesday, December 29, 2004


all i wanted for chritsmas..

here's what i received for my christmas

1. diamond cross pendant.
2. lanvin perfume.
3. rosewater powder.
4. princess diary.
5. winnie the pooh's cookies.
6. butterfly key chain.
7. optical mouse.
8. CD.
9. earrings.
10. notebook.
11. butterfly paper stand.

its been a blessed christmas and every gift is just as special as the season itself. but somehow i feel that this year's christmas is different as the past few years. seems like i didnt really enjoy shopping and i felt boring for once. probably cos i was not feelin well, probably cos i shopped too much in bangkok.

had softball match today and i managed to hit the ball to the outfielders, i was damn happy!! but the second hit was like shit and i felt damn upset about it. anyway we got into quarters and i shall wait for more chances to bat. hit hard!!!

i enjoyed playing all the sports for the past few 5 weeks, netball, softball, basketball and ill probably run for hall as well, sometimes i complained about the fatigue but i know deep inside, i love what im doing, so much more than studyin in nie. sometimes i think if im in ntu, probably i wun feel so sick studying.

i was pretty angry and upset when i told my friend that i had no time to shop for christmas and all she could said was " you were the one who chose to stay in hall! " i was but taken aback at what she said cos i thought she would support me, however seemed like it was all my fault that i cant enjoy shopping as much as i did. well the truth is, i enjoy myself engaging in IHG and yes im tired but im still doing what i love and thats all it matters.

im reading memoirs of a geisha, courtesy of trini, the book got me all engrossed for the past few days. one of the best books i have read in this holiday.

i miss talking to my "thai" roomie, i wonder when will i get to see wanjun again..

Sunshine ; Tuesday, December 28, 2004



swept every piece of nice clothing in adidas..yay yee.. 
Sunshine ; Tuesday, December 21, 2004



smiling our way to the shopping paradise!! 
Sunshine ; Tuesday, December 21, 2004



the great thai open team together with the amazing Nan Da team 
Sunshine ; Tuesday, December 21, 2004


return of the royal princess..

yay!! im finally back from thailand. i have to say its an amazing trip, played good netball, ate cheap and delicious trip ( with the exception of the nooch there, argh..cant make it!! ), slept damn well with big beds and comfortable pillows, had a wonderful roomie and shopped hard!!! it was really a good trip to bond with each other.

it felt great when i stepped into our super clean changi international airport. finally i dont have to choke my lungs with ever-so-polluted air, i can see clear blue skies here and save the hassle of searching the handle to flush the toilet.

however i do miss being treated like a royalty there..i can just leave my bed unmade, throw my towels around, eat buffet for breakfast, shop as if there's no tomorrow and feeling rich all over...hahaha..its heaven there..erm maybe polluted heaven.

oh i love hongying there..hahaha cos we have a common and interesting topic to talk about..ok now waiting for more photos.



Sunshine ; Tuesday, December 21, 2004



school of netball beauties..NIE netball team!!! that was my last day of having a fair complexion. 
Sunshine ; Sunday, December 12, 2004



i still dont think i looked very yaya papaya here..i was fully clothed, wearing the super huge jersey and standing in the hot sun, waiting for the game to start. 
Sunshine ; Sunday, December 12, 2004


friends.

someone once said "a friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway." how true can it be. i saw alicia just now. she looks the same, great and i was exhilarated, overwhelmed with joy and some sort of familiarity upon seeing her. i kind of lost this kind of feeling some time ago.

anyway, seeing alicia brought back those fond memories back in hai sing days. we were undefeatable and claimed the national champs when we were C girls, we didnt even know what championship tastes like, all we wanted was to have a good team play. i miss those days.

i have not seen alicia for almost 2 years but i still feel very close to her, afterall we have been through so much together. i know she cares for me although she doesnt say it. just like lin and shiqiu, i know they love me despite the distance between us. they are the ones who truly know me and love me anyway. they will never remember my misgivings, they always see the best in me. they are the only ones whom i could confide in, i can tell them anything and everything.

sometimes i wonder if i could find another person like lin and shiqiu, or should i be contented with both of them?

Sunshine ; Friday, December 10, 2004


who really cares?!

who really cares when im injured? who really cares about my injury when everyone is so focus on IHG? who really cares if i can play when all the games are coming up? who really cares when i cant even straighten my arm? who really cares if im in pain? who really cares if im just using one hand to play? who really cares if i cant bat, cant catch or cant play softball? no one does..

it is just an excuse i use to skip trainings, it just an excuse i came up with on tuesday..i did it on purpose, i intentionally let the violent girl run into me and nearly let her dislocate my arm, too bad she didnt dislocate it, my muscle just pulled and im just in pain now..wats the big deal? i should train until my entire arm gets pulled off, right? isnt that what you want?



Sunshine ; Wednesday, December 08, 2004


do u know me?

i feel so tired trying to make everyone happy..has anyone ever thought of the pains we have to go through to make someone happy?

do you feel proud of me? will you regret being with me? are you happy with me? we always ask our loved ones all these questions. what are we trying to prove? that we are worthy partners? that we should be loved? yes i want to know all the answers to these questions but what do i really want to know? that i serve my purpose of being someone who makes my loved ones happy? so what if they regret being with me? so what if they arent happy? do i become another person to please them?

i dunnoe if i will regret..enough to make my heart sank..enough to make me stay up whole night..but i slept..cos im too tired for all these. if you cant love then dun love, if you cant trust then dont trust.

my feelings are tagged with "found in another person's" in bold. where are mine?

Sunshine ; Wednesday, December 08, 2004


it was a painful win.

i umpired the game between hall 7 and 2, poor xuanhan doing all the runs by herself, anyway i thought hall 2 played really well today.

im playing softball again..though i still think im lousy but i think im starting to like it cos it really challenges me. i still cant bat very well but at least now im hitting the ball!! probably not catching well enough too but ill try. with ming's powerful throw, i should be able to improve.

anyhow, it was a painful win just now, with hall 14. the netball court was wet and slippery, i was the first one to fall and subsequently, i continue to make all the falls, im like the woman of the match, falling all over the place. this girl from hall 14 nearly dislocated my arm and i had no choice but to call for injury time and the best thing was, no medic was around!!?? no ice as well..gosh..everyone just wanted to watch and have fun, no one cares about injuries. now i have problems just lifting my arm.

we won the game though, anshu played very well, so did jingyan and shupei. anshu and zhiyu have the potential to go far, especially anshu.

i had problems thinking who to field in to play just now, there were so many of them but i can only field in 7. i wish i could explore more of their potentials. there should be another centre player to replace me.

it was great to see so many supporters outside the court, encouraging the players on court. i guess it did made a difference somehow..

im tired..

Sunshine ; Tuesday, December 07, 2004


my life..

i had a lousy night. ate a lousy dinner at a lousy coffeeshop and watched a lousy show; Alexandra. how draggy and confusing can it gets..now i know he is a gay, looks quite cute though.

i feel like a full time sportswoman now..just had a week of netball, basketball and softball trainings and more to come. i have turned myself from a pink dollie princess to a dark indian maid. eversince the games started, i have been feeding myself at least 4 meals a day and may i stress that they are all main meals, i can eat 3 chicken wings plus serving of pasta and get hungry within the next half an hour? how hungry can i get? i myself, am amazed by my huge appetite.

sometimes i wonder what kind of love are we pursuing? selfish? selfless? is it just a kind of possession we want? is it just companionship we are looking for? corinthians says love is patient and love is kind..how much truth does it hold?

i saw someone who told me he loved me before but when i walked pass him, i was nothing but air, i didnt make an impact on him at all. where was the love he wanted me to feel? where was the friendship we wanted to have? bullshit right? im just a stranger to him..

i have been in hall for almost 2 years..even though i obviously know these people and they know me too, during hall trainings we behaved as if we have never seen each other in our lives before and they probably wont even appreciate anything from you. how depressing..

we are so realistic huh..if someone is of no value to us then we should just treat them like air that whizzes..we dont even allow our hearts to have enough room for them.

how then...is love kind?




Sunshine ; Monday, December 06, 2004



this is how bangla i look now 
Sunshine ; Monday, December 06, 2004



minjia and us 
Sunshine ; Monday, December 06, 2004