Saturday, February 17, 2007
my IQ levelme : "ming, i took test online and my IQ level is 118, is that high or low?"ming : "thats high..average is 100."me : " oh..it says that my pattern reading is not good..what does that mean?"ming : "....."me : "means i cant read patterns?"ming : " yah."the above conversation shows that I REALLY CANT READ PATTERNS..well i guess i know abt this. as i was trying my best to understand what is it abt patterns that i cant catch a ball then it daunt upon me that i just cant seem to get myself out of an impending predicament which is always the same or i always land myself into the same mess.i know im easily stressed out and i always do more things to stress myself out. i know i need discipline but i always allow myself to be out of the disciplined lifestyle. i know that im unahppy when i think abt certain things yet i just sink myself into the wallowing mood.my once-in-a-while words of wisdom a conversation over sms...me : "im very happy once i get to eat the food i like!"sk : "you are very easily contented huh..sigh..i wish im like you."me : " can wat..go eat with me la.."me with wise words : " sometimes being happy doesnt mean that you have to be extremely happy abt certain things, just be less upset abt some things la.."over dinner with hui hui and celeste, i realised that celeste seconded my words of wisdom by telling us that she is more happy this year cos she doesnt take things too hard anymore which i think its very wise of her. when we dont take things too hard then we will not fall to our death. i reall think that han is just out to put her down with those kind of snide remarks she makes in front other people abt celeste and the way she talks to her but well..since celeste is getting well with it then so be it.the things i must learn.i must learn not to comment to much or not to even comment when im not asked to.i must learn to accept people the way they are just like how the wonderful people around me accepted a wretch like me.i must learn to love my students instead of just teaching them.i must learn to care about my students' feelings.i must learn to forget what others have done to upset me.i must learn that people have the right to give me up for something better.i must learn to put others first.myrren's love for me.myrren :" laoshi, i want to follow you eh" for the 5th timeme : " why? " for the 5th timemyrren :"i just want to follow you"me : "u must tell me why first "myrren :" cos i love you"me : " huh..what did you say?"myrren * long pause then tears welled up* : " ....."me : " you said you love me ah?"myrren : " yes.."me* awwww..* : " come, i hug you"and myrren came over to me and gave me the tightest, warmest, loveliest hug i have ever felt..more often than not, i overlooked their feelings cos i always think that they are just young kids and they wont really remember so much about a teacher yet i was so wrong. tho i cant believe that myrren could be so attached to me, i am still awed by the incident and it has definitely left an impresssion on me. thank you myrren, i love you too, you've touched me in a very special manner.the CNY strategies.in an extra effort (going to be made) by every realtive to be extra nice to everyone, i shall make extra effort to be extra happy to see my relatives. i shall repeat the same answers every year to the same questions asked for the past 5 years..maybe i will make extra effort to give extended answers if their bah gua is nice..hmmm...yummy..
Sunshine ; Saturday, February 17, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
perplexed...
i cannot comprehend her way of handling things and why is it that she always gets first hand news? why is it that the info have to go thru her hands to get to me? what am i missing out on? what is she doing? what is she tryin to prove? that she is very competent? that she is more capable than me? if she really wants to prove herself so much then fine but do it within your boundaries man. if she really wants to replace me so much then go ahead, i couldnt care less abt titles or positions and promotions at all. if status satisfies you then go claim it. I will just be thankful that my life is not about how much money i get, the promotions i get or the status i possess. i am worth so much more than that.
the same questions i asked myself many times, what do i really teach?
values or syllabus? meaning or words? character or lesson plans?
why do i feel that im handicapped? i have the best facilities i can find in a school, i have a big work station, i have many colleagues and i have parents who readily support the events i run for the class therefore, what is missing?
passion...
i started my second semster of my first academic year in sim and the first lecture was not what i expected it to be. it was about religion and science and i left after sitting through an hour of lecture. it was my first time skipping lecture.
the second day was so much better, english really filled me in. i learnt about speech acquitsition in a child's development and the different stages of speech which i think, is really useful now, especially when im teaching young kids. i shall look forward to more lectures and gaining new knowledge.
just as i was thinking if i will ever get a chance to lead singing, mrs lim walked past me, as if she could hear my mind talking and gave me this chance which i will never forget. story of roy and ethan received positive feedback frm yew ling and kellyn which meant a lot to me. the story was thought of in just a few minutes and it still managed to minister to others, who else to thank then the author who put this story in mind, GOD!
primary pal...
finally i got to meet yati and gordon who is such a nice guy, so easy to talk to him and someone who is so accomodating. yati, as usual, so down to earth though she is filthy rich. we had japanese cusine and though its costly, i must give credit to the food which was of good quality. even a bowl of udon was incredibly tasty. i knew it was a good choice to have jap food when i saw some japanese there. i take them as the benchmark of the food there, if japanese will go there and eat, then the food there must be authentic and good.
everytime i watch japan hour, i admire how each eatery takes pride in what they are doing and there will not be any compromises make on the freshness and the quality of the food they serve, regardless of the size if the restaurant. fantastic!
philosophical...
"my child has difficulties learning his hanyu pingyin, i also have difficulties coaching him , i think many parents are also having the same difficulties, can you help us on this?"
"the responsibility of educating your child is great and i feel that this responsibility should not just lie on me alone. altho i do not have a child, i understand the difficulties you are having because i face 30 over students at one go. as parents, you really have try your best to go thru everythhing with them becos in sch0ol, i have my contraints tho i will def do my best to teach your child everything he or she should know. it is more difficult for your child if he does not have your support, what can i do? i can hug them, even kiss them if you allow me to, i reward them with stickers, but thats all i can do! to your child, nothing else is worth doing if he doesnt get your support. if your child is learning such a difficult thing at such a young age, then we should also sit down and learn with him. i am not the best chinese teacher here but i will do my best to bring out the best in your child, i hope you will also give your best in supporting him."
my dialogue session with the parents during the open house, i was in shock that i said all those words, i couldnt believe that i said all these but ming said i did the right thing, i hope so.
the trend now is, to assume that chinese is difficult to learn and we should just give up. however, should we allow the norm to shape us? or should we be who we really are? no matter how far we go, we are still chinese, this is a fact that will never change, so why not be a proud chinese then pretend to be someone else?
Sunshine ; Thursday, February 08, 2007
