SinG foR me..DarLin

i had a great day out with my girlfriends yesterday, though sch before that totally sucks..what an excellent redemption. went to eat my favourite beer battered fish and chips and SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! i had a brownie as my birthday cake!!! cOOL..

straight after that i went singing with the girls, yes SINGING!!! hahaah..its so fun to have ah yve singing the hokkien song and rest of us were just getting damn high in the small room, shouting and screaming. yve sings damn well in hokkien..wooHoo..

after much consideration, i figured out that there wont be many chances left to meet up with ntu netballers, i decided to go zouk..hahhahaa.i felt so good seeing them..and thks to my dearie rach, i got high in 15 mins, thats the fastest time ever recorded, gettin high in zouk..drank flaming and a WHOLE JUG of vodka lime..thks everyone..that was the first time i feel like puking after drinking..

now im like waiting for the bash so that i can see rach again..haaha..RACH YOU BETA GO THERE AND SEE ME!!!!!!!!!

oh what an excellent day..great friends, fine food, fun singing, good dancing...YUCKY guys in zouk.

Sunshine ; Thursday, January 27, 2005


one of the days when i blog even tho i dun feel like it..

• im sick.
• doc said i will sink into depression if i dun get beta.
• i had bad dreams for 3 consecutive nights.
• i take 2 meals at most now as compared to nothing less than 5 per day.
• i reluctantly, unwillingly, was forced to discard my cookie monster which i had for 7 yrs.
• i was distraught abt the loss of my cookie monster.
• im losing myself day by day.
• i feel unappreciated.
• i cried over a presentation.
• i feel agitated everyday.
• i had rats in my room over the weekend.
• i feel like i paid $180 monthly to stay in an attap house, with the rat trap outside and cardboards all over my windows now.
• a student i taught 2 yrs ago called me today, i was so touched.
• i received my 2nd birthday pressie today from miss CHOO YIPING the PriNcess.
• i hate my lecturer, one day i will just snap at him.
• i hate NIE.
• i cant rem myself.

Sunshine ; Tuesday, January 25, 2005


the time has come...

i stepped into tutorial room 04, feeling uncomfortable. the room was not cold, somehow, i could still sensed the stillness and i was searching for the source. it wasnt long before i discovered a tall and lanky figure standing across the room, he was it, every little drop of coldness rained from him. the way he organised the classroom, the way he walked around and behind us, how he was towering over us or perhaps just me, he was unreachable and not a tinge of warmth could be found in him.

Dr Tan briefed us on our presentation and lucky me, my group is presenting next wednesday. he was stern. instructions were given clearly. thats it. no lines for us to cross at all. no nonsense at all.

now im wondering if i can still eat, giggle, laugh hilariously, steal looks at my handphone, dream, sleep, twirl my hair, drink, fidgit..etc etc...im bringing toothpicks to class..to hold my eyes..

its eerie..the thought of "laughterless" tutorials.

anyway, lingzhi's presentation today was very touching. i saw tears welling up in my eyes when she mentioned about not getting to see the one whom we miss every single day..i thought if him..does he know that i miss him a great deal? does he know that i care a lot for him? does he know that he said things that broke my heart? is he really doing fine now? when will he come back? does he miss me? will i ever see him again?

oh heavenly Father, You know my deepest thoughts, my greatest desires and all my worries and concerns. I pray that You send Your angels to guard him everyday and bring him home soon..and let him know i miss him and i love him.

Sunshine ; Wednesday, January 12, 2005


im dead..

im so sad.......my cholesterol level increased!!!! arGHHHHHHH...i cant believe that one day ill just die of high cholesterol..so sad..

sorry yve, i really forgot the security code..guess my help didnt really help. wat a lousy day..

Sunshine ; Tuesday, January 11, 2005

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeedActively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas.You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding.You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force. An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people.You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor.People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all.You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone. Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

this reminds me of how my best friend thought i was soooooooooo arrogant that she will never dream of getting near me..but now....IM THE ONE SHE LOVES!!!!!!!!! its not arrogance i display..i just dont talk to anyone i dunnoe, whats wrong with that??

loner? not loner i guess, i just prefer time alone occasionally.

Sunshine ; Tuesday, January 11, 2005


i Believe..*Honey soundtrack*

They said you wouldn't make it so far a a
And ever since they've said it its been hard
But never mind that night'cha had to cry
Cause you had never let it go inside
You worked real hard and you know exactly what you want and need so believe
And you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say

I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i know my dreams are real
I believe i can
I believe i'll dance
I believe i hold it soon and
That is what i do believe

Your fools are justes singing, your soul aha
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your mind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine leave all of your cares and stress behind and
Just let it go
Let the music go inside again the pain
It just start to believe

At third my yet what people say
Hold my head high and turn away
With all my hopes and dreams
I will believe
Even though it seems it's not for me
I won't give up, i'll keep it up
Looking to the sky
I will achieve all my needs

I will always believe

Sunshine ; Friday, January 07, 2005


im still awake...

its 330 am and im still awake..just watched huanzhu gege..

just read a few blogs, ming is right, when someone is alone, she is pretty harmless only when they get together then all of them might be motivated by one another to do something wrong, its like peer pressure..

sometimes we just want to do what we want without thinking if its right, without considering how others might feel..

i guess its not easy to live a righteous life or rather, to live a life which is right in other's eyes..

when there is fatigue, give me strength.
when there is sadness, give me joy.
when there is darkness, give me light.

when i am lost, give me directions.
when i have anger, give me peace.
when i'm in disbelief, give me faith.


Sunshine ; Friday, January 07, 2005


i bought myself happiness...

i spent $180 buying happiness for myself..and my happiness only lasted few half an hour..after i hung my newly bought clothes, i forgot what happiness was like and went to bed.

i bought a limited edition adidas jacket and an adidas tennis skirt meant for umpiring. retail therapy helps but i realised that i wasnt as happy buying things for myself, i prefer the joy of buying things for my loved ones.

my thigh hasnt recover and my spirits is just as low. tmr is track finals and i wonder how im gg to limp mu way through.

dismissing me isnt going to make things better for me, all i ask is time for me to settle down. yes i do miss having someone around me to hold me tight but sometimes i just need to sort out my own thoughts. its not tough to share worries but not everyone likes to share their worries.

thks yy, for the food you cooked..

thks bobby, for your prayers..

Sunshine ; Friday, January 07, 2005


almost didnt mk it to school this morning...was so sleepy..anyway seeing ivy, faith and yve in the morning made me feel so much better, children's literature was interesting i thought..the boring part came when we moved into xie's class which was ultimate killer...kills all my morning drive

i told faith abt how moody i feel and i realised i want to see yan yan..but i dunnoe how to tell her everythg..i know if i start, ill start crying and yelling..sigh..

i want to see lin too..i miss her

it was a short day this morning..

Sunshine ; Wednesday, January 05, 2005


i stayed up all night thinking abt what has happened..how someone's heart sank, how much tears are shed, how much anger someone had..but all not worth it.

i said we lost in the name of sportsmanship..whats wrong? did i say any hall has no sportsmanship? did i say anyone has no sportsmanship? oh come on...i wrote we lost in the name of sportsmanship cos we knew we couldnt argue with the convenor anymore since he wouldnt admit that he was the one who told us to go and its very clear that we were at fault then. so we chose to give up the game cos we had what it takes to admit mistakes. i pity those who cant read properly or has failed their comprehension..

did you even try to feel how we feel? did you even try to understand? did you even know wat happened instead of asking me? and i was there even before you, even before the rain, even before anythg happen.. we did understand how hard our opponents played, we did understand how we were all drowning in our own mistakes...but no one will understand how it wasnt our fault that the game was cancelled, no one will understand how early we were on sunday, gettin ready to play but yet was being asked to go back...now no one will even care to empathise, its all criticisms here, there and everywhere..and now we cant even voice out our frustrations??!! ok stop all this whining..cos no one really cares wat happen..


ming is right, everyone has their own rights to view matters and handle matters differently. likewise, i have my own rights too..if u cant tolerate, its not my problem at all..yan is right, some people are just not worthy of my attention..yy is rite, fussy people..

whatever whatever...im out of here, you can stay on for all i care..cos my life moves on..

go hongying, im sure you can bat very well and the rest of the girls as well...




Sunshine ; Wednesday, January 05, 2005


and dun be such a wicked, brainless, mean and naive person to throw threats at innocent people, people whom you think can take your nonsense..just becos they are nice doesnt mean you can bully them and drive them crazy..just get your way out of our path..we dont even want to be near you..

im not nice and i cant take your nonsense..

Sunshine ; Wednesday, January 05, 2005


get out la..

i did not invite YOU to read my anythg..pls get out!!

if YOU cant take what i blog then pls get out!!

if all YOU can do is to threaten people, den get out!!

just get out la..dun smear my blog can...not worthy of YOU rite..then get out loh. easy as that..

who do you think you are? whether or not im fit to be anythg, its none of anyone's business...if u are beta, you wld have been smwhere else, instead of here, leaving comments..wasting ur time in my blog. so just get out yah..

and yes im all behind hong, the entire hall 7 as well..


















Sunshine ; Wednesday, January 05, 2005


my first new year resolution

BEAT HALL 3 IN SOFTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunshine ; Saturday, January 01, 2005