Saturday, November 06, 2004
just some thoughts..
i didnt sleep until 7am this morning. i cant seemed to stop the thoughts that flowed into my mind, the night before. i cant helped but think that i ought to be blamed for everything bad that happened. why didnt it crossed their minds that i will be upset as well then who do i push all these negative feelings to?
i hate to feel guilty..especially when someone said something to make me feel guilty...sometimes its just so pressurising to love someone, your friend, your partner or whoever. its so contradicting, instead of happiness, you gain more pain..wat an irony.
i always think that a relationship with someone is a trade off of what you have now. you lose personal space, you lose time with your family and friends, you lose yourself just to perform up to someone's expectations, you give up what you always like to do. so this is what i do, i refuse to give up anything for anyone, i refuse to spend lesser time with my family, i still rush to my friends who need me, i still crave for personal space.
am i striking a balance or should i just need to be left alone?
Sunshine ; Saturday, November 06, 2004
