I'm just different.
Monday, May 16, 2005
people just like us..
all my life, i innocently believe that whatever i do not do to others, they will not do it unto me as well. even though i have been through rough times handling all these matters, i still choose to believe in what the bible teaches me.
yet, time after time, i haven been proven wrong. perhaps i used to take people for granted so now they take me for granted. but then again, i took them for granted cos someone else did that to me! i concluded that its a vicious cycle.
karma? bobby reminded me that im a christian and so NO karma. period.
somehow, some people dont really care what goodness you brought to them, or rather, they dont perceive your deeds as gifts. you are a willing party anyway. so who's to blame?
i always ask myself, why did she/he do that to me? i have never done that to them before. i guess its time i pull myself out of my illusion, not everyone will appreciate what you do.
"do not withold good from those who deserve it when it is in your power to act." proverbs 3:27, as i ponder over this verse, a part of me says "yes i shd do good to others who deserve it" but another part of me wonders, "but who will grant me the goodness i deserve?"
why do i always think that someone is a gd person as long as he/she is kind to me? am i wrong to think this way? is it too naive of me?
i didnt think much until ivy told me sm "truth", perhaps nt true but it cld be all true. i was taken aback and my heart, kind of, sank..smhow i didnt expect it to turn out this way, im disgusted and disappointed.
but well..its always a matter of choice, people like us, choose to live the way we desire.
i truely believe that we are people with split personality. a part of us wants to live the way conformed by the society, together with the "shd dos" and "shd not dos", another part of us actually yearns to wriggle out of the nutshell and be someone else, doing the "shd nots" but derive some sort of excitement out of this life.
still, its just a matter of choice...
Sunshine ; Monday, May 16, 2005