I'm just different.
Monday, July 23, 2007
i just checked my course timetable and im really looking forward to SIM..woohoo..im starting next monday, back to TMAs aka assignmts and i looked through the questions..very challenging is the word. i shall not think that its going to stress me and make me sleep deprived and therefore leading to depression and loss of wieght and not forgetting taking MCs to complete the assignmts and yah...i shall not think of that now.. *drop deadi woke up crying after a bad dream and i was wondering, was i crying cos i felt unwanted in the dream or it really matters that much to me? im feelin paranoid now, wondering if God has shown His ways, thinking if i should believe myself and worrying abt if another person will take all these away from me..all these things in my head are driving me crazy and i hate myself for going bonkers..just like how i totally despised myself on 7th april. long term? think long term? does thinking long term helps? does thinking long term means i must totally dump the past? how to? how to just erase everything like it has never happened before? how to forget? im really trying..but i just cant lie to myself that i have put it behind me already..work has less madness feature but people are just as mad. jo taught me this "be sharp like a serpent and gentle like a dove". im trying to make peace with her..but really..is that necessary? will i end up feeling betrayed again?i think im very irritating recently..but pls still do love me ok..ok twinnie? ok kei kei?
Sunshine ; Monday, July 23, 2007