Tuesday, November 20, 2007
i gt cursed as a big mouth and someone who 借刀杀人, maybe also someone who is despicable cos i was asked what happened. i never heard all these things being arrowed to me at all cos i have never done all these thgs.would i want to step on someone who is not going to be there anymore? is there any value in doing it? why would i gain? entertainment? if i want to do something so despicable, i would have done it the very first day i stepped into this place.why would i want to kill her? she has not given me any bad face at all, she has not been rude to me as she was with others, why would i want to kill her? for wat? just so that she will step down? are there benefits to speak of if she steps down? i should feel very sad cos someone whom i have favour with is actually passing the baton to someone else.so, i deliberately said something. i want to get rid of someone whom i have favour with, i used my "friend" who is leaving soon but posed no threat to me to help me do the job and instead of feeling elated and on top of the world, i actually feel like shit now......does it sound logical to you?luckily i brought someone along to listen to the so-called "management" whom i supposedly said many many things to, otherwise no matter what i said, 都翻不了身。sigh...好一句“借刀杀人”...when all i said was she did not get what she deserved and i was deemed as ruining a person's career and reputation and that was the end of the friendship. yes i will reflect and yes i am in the wrong, just cos i said how i felt and i smeared someone's reputation when i didnt even use anyone as a topic. i was never the one who walked into that office, i oredi explained that i was pulled in and whatever the conversation was about, i have made known to those who needed to know.abt the person whom i talked to on thurs, we were discussing abt a conference that i was supposed to attend and whatever i said, i also made known to everyone oredi. the only thg i said and didnt tell anyone was this, "she has done so much and i have not done anything like hers, she did so much for the kids, i will never be able to do what she did."the 2nd time when i mentioned her name : " she prob wld hv stayed if she had spoken to her." i admit that this is just my personal view.was that enough to backstab u?so now, how did i backstab u? when you were never the topic that i discussed abt? yr friend is right, why would i want to do anythg to someone who is leaving soon?"your explanation is not impt anymore." my heart just sank when i saw this msg. no matter what i did or how i wanted to explain, they are just not impt anymore. wat else matters then?是自己太傻了吧？还是自己错了？因为害怕遗失一段友情而不停地紧张，最后换来一句句“是你活该”、shut your big mouth、借刀杀人、利用别人来达到自己的目的。。。人还是走了。。。我还是失去了我的友情。。。我承认了，是我的错。
Sunshine ; Tuesday, November 20, 2007
