Saturday, December 08, 2007
i have been thinking a lot recently. i wonder what is most inportant in life? what is most important in a relationship? what is most important in an office environment? what is most important in teaching? what is most important in a family?
it sounds very cliche to bear all these thoughts in my mind but these few months really demand me to revisit my perspectives and my values.
i hold on firmly to what i believe is right and i stick to my principles no matter what others say or do to me. i disagree with doing thgs just for the sake of gaining popularity. however, it seems that people who have been receiving popular votes are those who are out to please.
why do we yearn to be a people pleaser ? cos we feel insecure? so its always "anything la" will do? then start critisizing when thgs go wrong? "anything la" is always the best bet cos you will always have the last say. what happen to having a mind of your own?
if it is decided, i will be in another session next year, separated from my beautiful twinnie, my kei kei and yoyo. "isnt this what i wanted?" i asked myself, to be able to watch over ah boy and do somethign different? but im not happy at all, simply cos i will be away from those i love. even though im tired and all, having them around gives me strength to go on another day.
this is not what i want, i dont want to prove anything to people who are not worth it, i dont want to be separated from my loved ones, i dont want to "watch over" people who are incompetent and give an account of their work, i dont want to pioneer any projects, i just want to teach together with friends who truly cares for their pupils and not lamenting over their inabilities to score a 100.
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while at home...
mum has been extremely naggy, to the point of being simply irritating. to the point which i dont feel like going home.
she doesnt seem to understand what any other mothers would and that simply breaks my heart. each time i talk to her, i just feel like a part of my heart just breaks into pieces, sigh...how much more to break?
bro wants to stay out to register his displease. i cant believe it, she can actually kick up an enormous fuss just cos of a perfect stranger..she is driving us out of our minds and also out of the house.
please pray for my family, for love and harmony that should exist in a family.
Sunshine ; Saturday, December 08, 2007
