the interview i went for was really an eye opener and it was really fun to don the renowned kebaya..ahahah i though i look quite cute in it. heheh.. good friday just passed by in a glimpse. the hours and hours of dance practices were amazing and it really stretched me physically, mentally and spiritually. it added on to the challenges i am facing this year. my reward came in terms of $$ ..ahahah...$$ will be rolling next month too. sigh..somehow feel a little motivated to go work now...materialistic? oh well...it really mks a difference once in a while. while im happy to receive what my piggy bank has, i wonder what have i not done last year to deserve more? is it just cos of my ro or that pple just really tot that i didnt do anythg much? my current ro encouraged me to stay, she surprised me with compliments that i didnt expect. i do feel motivated, its like finallly pple up and down do approve of what im doing and recognises me for my work. however, i still feel that estimated potential is just a diplomatic tool to work me out. i feel happy for those who got better pb than before, at the same time, i feel that the school has let me down. i really thank god for all the extra $$ i have now.
Sunshine ; Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Sunshine ; Thursday, March 13, 2008
learn this song and sing with me eh..
Sunshine ; Thursday, March 13, 2008
the first class plane
trolleys waiting in line for someone to pick them up!!
welcome to terminal iii !!
my boys digging into their volcano ice cream
i brought my boys and myself out to terminal 3 and the sight was impressive.
the restaurants are unique and some shops are pretty new to me and there's bodyshop there too, there's also outdoor, dian xiao er, crystal jade shanghai..i was just wondering if they will have crabtree and evelyn there..ahaha
met kei for kopi last night and it felt great that i could just stay out late leisurely without worrying about waking up for school tmr.
it felt even better than i cld slp until 11 am this morning...hahaha
i wonder if ill get blacklisted for nt attending all the core courses this wk..
oh well, looking for a new job seems exciting yet i feel lost at the same time.
i keep asking myself, do i really any other talents to do anything else?
will i miss teaching? what will make me stay in sch?
can i really tk it outside?
hmmm is the sch making me very insecure of myself cos i know there isnt any relevant experience i have or am i just being paranoid?
though i hv been popping medication every single day since the hols began, i act feel relaxed just being sick. no worries abt planning lessons and abt students missing out if im on mc.
too relaxed oredi...inertia to start work now..just wanna let time slip past..while i ROC
RELAC-ONE-CORNER
Sunshine ; Thursday, March 13, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
" personhood is formed through making decisions. we learn to think and weigh options, we discover what we truly value, we take responsibility for our choices. God wants us to be people, not roboots and that means we must make decisions." a passage i read in "THE LIFE YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED" spiritual discipline for ordinary people. A book which daniel and all gave me in o6 or o7 for my bday. my reflections.. i told kei i was sorry for hurting her in the ways that i did maybe intentionally or unintentionally. my depression made me transfer the tension i hv within me to the pple around me. one day i will lose all these pple and it will unconceivable by then. i discover what i truly value...after each action we take, each word we say to others, they are all decisions we made. "to whom do i belong? to god or to the world? many of my daily preoccupations suggest that i belong to the world than to god. a little criticism makes me angry and a little rejection makes me depressed. a little praise raises my spirits and a little success excites me....often i am like small boat on the ocean at the mercy of its waves." according to the book, we all have some sort of approval addiction. we long to get some approval from our friends, our colleagues and of cos from our family as well. i find it very relevant and often think why am i so unhappy with the circumstances im in? when i saw shiqiu at the wedding dinner last night, i miss the days when we were so carefree and happy during school days. tho since young, im a worry-warrior, i always looked to her and rubbed off her always-be-happy attitude. yes its true, each day oredi has enuff worries on its own. live freely... twinnie, thks for being my friend and loving me and supporting me all along. wherever we are now or in future, you will always be my twinnie and we can always go shopping and facial together!!! i love you being yourself...believe in yourself too! you are much stronger than you think you are. i love you whether you are in pants or your green skirt!! kei, of cos i love you too. thks for tolerating with me and reminding me how much God loves me too. you are truly a blessing to me. thks for coming out even tho you have other commitments as well. your presence is very much appreciated. i cant wait for your wedding, its like one of my biggest event this year!! neh, you have showed me that when you put god first, he will grant you all your heart's desires. work hard, god will reward you when you place his kingdom first. of cos, i love you too. yoyo, no matter how far you are, i know we are always close at heart. thks for being there when i needed someone. love you!! i wll nvr forget the times when i was totally in shambles and you were there for me. ok thats all folks.... from the not-s0-lovable-but-still-lovely-nahnah
Sunshine ; Monday, March 10, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
after attending good friday's rehearsal, i felt so much better. being able to dance and serve God in his house lifts my spirit. im so proud of our musicians and choir. they are superb and i felt so energized listening to them singing every so beautifully to God. as i was going thru my routine today, twinnie msged me. i managed to pour out how i was feeling recently and also told charisa abt it, i cried as i was msging her and toking to charisa, i just feel very annoyed..no, not with you kei. cos i was thking, above everythg else, i still love u a lot and i still look forward to your wedding. nothg has chged a bit abt that. twinnie is right, this just me. straightforward and frank, mayb need to have more self control before releasing my emotions..cannot use that as an excuse.. but i do truly feel negative...yes must break the bondage. i love all of you..
Sunshine ; Saturday, March 08, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
school has ended for the term..finally after all the tears i shed, all the "i-dont-want-to-wake-up mornings", all the marking tho im still not done yet and all the ups and downs in school.
my reflection for the past 10 weeks..
erractic weather
warm classrooms
begin to enjoy chilling at wala
aft seeing the results of my lsp class, i donno if i shd be happy or sad. i have 6 passes out of the 16 in class. i have nvr seen this kind of results but i know their best is yet to be. i hope the next one teaching them will bring them to a higher level which i have not done for them. anyway, i guess im feeling gd cos at least 6 mk it,right? look at their positive side...
my p5's work is improving slightly but i guess i need to mk more effort to try to teach the way they learn, but how? i dunno yet.
still feel lonely in school tho im surrounded by pple but somehow its different. pple i wanna tok to are always too busy exp for daniel who tried to mk time for me even tho he is busy and thats precisely why i dont go look for him oredi.
been drifting away from eveyone else even with pple at home, dont reallly see justin in school, obviously dont see didi. sometimes bro just cm home to hibernate in his room and im either to early at home or too late at home. no more dinners at home..sad.
pple have many sides, hw you want to take their comments and their actions depends on you.
when im tired, its my fault for sleeping late. when im angry, its my fault for being short-tempered, when im upset, its cos i take things too hard. when i dont apologise, its cos im too prideful. what abt how pple hv made me feel?
still want to remember that no one can tk my happiness away from me, still trying to contain my unhappiness.
when one person does smthg differently, its a taboo but when 10 pple do the same thg differently, its innovation.
its not how long you stay in office, its how much you have accomplished.
"you oredi know she is like that, just let her be and be yourself" doesnt really mk me feel any better.
have learnt to just walk pass pple whom i dont reall care abt.
sch is nicer without her in school.
woah..doesnt really seem like i had an exciting time for the past ten weeks but yeah, its over, need to roll over and move ahead.
but there are stl pple who touch my life..
daniel, thks for tkg time out of your busy schedule to talk to me and listening to my same old complaints and sitting beside me whenever i cry. thks for being such a dear brother and friend to me. i really appreciate you.
mrs khor, i was pleasantly surprised when you just took my hand and led me outside and prayed for me. altho we are nt close but you are always my motivator, just by looking at the way you work, it shows that everything is acceptable and workable as long as the attitude is right.
mrs lim, its amazing how much energy and enthusiasm you have despite the decades you have served. its been my blessing to have a ST like you.
miss tai, for your cold humour. always making us laugh upside down while you dont laugh at all.
gina, for being a responsible and approachable ro.
i want to go to the beach next week...
kei suggested gg for ballroom dancing toget nt a bad idea but maybe shd just hit the gym first right since its cheaper.
ok look forward to new and nicer thgs...aiming to dye my hair soon.
wanted to ask kei to use this song as one of her wedding songs...
Sunshine ; Friday, March 07, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
my nails are now screaming in glowing red,i like!!! on the side...eyes are always painful after 6, dark circles will start to show after 6 too...ahhhhhh..are these signs of a*e*ng? ok no matter what..do it gracefully...continue to shop and pamper myself while i still make a difference to my physique...so bring on more clothes, jap food, pedicures and nice shoes please.. twinnie, cheers to shopping together!!!!
Sunshine ; Thursday, March 06, 2008
hositility fills the air everywhere i go...well i am guilty of it too but its undeniably that others are contributing to it too. whats the matter man? isnt the environment we are in suffocating enough? do we need more from us? friends are for friends to complain to, to laugh at, to cry with, to show your frustration to...your friends make you love them and hate them too, at time. is it possible to have menopause at 26? hahah..at this rate we are going, im not surprised if anyone of us just hit menopause first. something is missing, is it just cos of the timetable? do we need to be so far apart? my seat is not exactly so far what...in the same office already so far apart, what to do when we change jobs? sigh...in the name of busyness, everyone of us has our own excuses to do the thgs we want. i went for pedicure and bought a pair of new slippers just now. splurge at crabtree and evelyn last night. so overspend this month but i dont really care now..later then cry. as of now... i simply just need a gd break. im watching ellen generes show..the audience screams and squeals at every single thing. they seem so easily excited!!! ahhh!!! wah!!! yeeaaahhhh!!!! well, i guess thats what life is about, just scream your heart out and live your life. alright now, lets jump like crazy..just think LV is on 100% sale. oh yah, i wanna love myself, even if no one does..
Sunshine ; Thursday, March 06, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
i was extremely excited when i saw the results for my lsp class!! i shrieked when i saw 17/20 !!! wah!!! thats amazing!!! my highest in lsp is 17/20. extremely proud of them!! as compared to seeing another better class, i was more like seeing if they met my expectations, was just glad that they did well too but they are supposed to anyway. i still told them to work harder and that they did well. after ice cream last night, i felt great. i am so thkful to God that altho im so unlovable, He still sends me many who loves me. thk you god, thk you SHKY. thk you huilin, thk you bee kee, lai lai and dawn. thk you faith, ivy and yve. thk you melina. thk you charisa and fabian. and many yous...
Sunshine ; Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
while waiting for the machine to spin my clothes, i come across an interesting article.. " balanced diet rich in essential amino acids, omega oils, minerals and vitamins will ensure a vibrant and sharp memory. Make sure to eat some form of protein with every meal-as nuts, seeds, beans, legumes or animal products.
Fish, especially deep ocean fish, provide a good source for the essential oils that our cells need to function optimally. Other brain foods include: apples, bamboo shoots, beets, bell peppers, celery, yams, squash, snow peas, pumpkin, potatoes, parsley, mushrooms, goji berries, papaya, pineapples, raspberries, oats, adzuki beans, black beans, chestnuts, sesame seeds, and (black) walnuts.
Micro-algae-blue-green algae, spirulina and chlorella-are easy to digest, high protein, and high-energy supplements that support healthy brain functions." ok so me eating salmon is well-supported by fact that it booasts my brain power!! i also like celery, potatoes (potato chips!!), mushrooms, raspberries..hmmm looks like my brain is receiving healthy food. the algae thing do sound yucky, how does it even be of use to the brain? i bet it wont even pass the mouth stage. supposed to leave school at 2 but end up sorting out my class list until 3pm. went to eat favourite yong tau hoo then walked home. the sky has been grey since yesterday...and the weather turned a little cold..seems like its winter oredi hahaha..tats cherlene's take. some things i want to do during next wk's break..
eat ice cream
watch movies
eat steam boat
shopping
eat at waraku
eat crabs
sleep well
so some sports
walk along the beach
clear my work station
yawn...nah nah out..
Sunshine ; Monday, March 03, 2008
only slept at 3am this morning then woke up the screams of spongebob squarepants..yawns..mt target today is to leave school before 2pm and hit my pillow to Zzzz...then slp early tonight!!!
Sunshine ; Monday, March 03, 2008
Saturday, March 01, 2008
went for supper with SHYK together with caleb and alan, though we had a short time together but it was a blessed fellowship, we talked, ate and laughed and vented our frustrations abt work and some plum soda on kei's body which pissed her off totally. chicken wings were nice but it failed to fill my stomach. according to the what i ate yesterday, neh felt that it was unfathomable that i was still hungry, these were what i had
subway sandwich.
one subway cookie.
tomato soup.
herbal soup.
nasi pandang
chicken wings and some calamari rings.
not a lot what?
anyhow, i felt great sleeping in yesterday morning, seeing the good friday dancers for dance and then meeting my beloveds for supper. it felt great that i was not burdened by work, thinking abt the uncompleted work. it was a good recharge for me.
in that case, i somehow look forward to resignation. though i know that i will miss my kids and the pple who has been showering love on me directly and indirectly.
i love teaching but i hate the system.
i have this inclination to msg charisa and tell her that i need a break this week cos i need to do my assignment but..... i will still go and serve.
Sunshine ; Saturday, March 01, 2008
Note
live, learn and love
Sunflower
moi' profile!
just nahnah who delights in food, shopping, spas, friends, love and being princessie.
my new motivation will be, to pick up my reading again and start to make home-made food to work!!
the first class plane 
welcome to terminal iii !!