I'm just different.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
the wedding last weekend was fun-filled and went on so smoothly despite the slight pouring but it didnt dampened our spirits at all. everything was so well planned and it was really the day the bride and groom could just get married and not worry abt anythg else. that didnt happen without the help of a very enthusiastic entourage and a bunch of helpful friends. caleb's brothers were really brothers..helping and clearing all the obstacles in every way and even neh was helping without being asked. no one could resist twinnie's sweet voice and we all know desmond and her did a great job!i had fun that night and felt very honoured to part of such a blissful wedding..i know the marriage will be even greater than this. :)ben thking abt career directions...what do i really want to do? do i want live up to others' expectations or do what i want to do? if im unhappy then what is the reason? i just checked my mail and i know just the sight of her name irks me. does she really think that she is the boss or what? telling pple that "oh this is just smthg i do to pass time and earn extra cash, i can do without this job cos i have a really rich husband" then why stay here and grab everythg? as usual, cos she is the supposedly supervising the com and i am one of the level reps and she can selectively chooses her members to pass info and just conveniently leave me out. just what does she have to be nominated to be the hod? its like a total joke to me.i know its not worth it to leave cos of someone who doesnt deserve my attention at all but simply cant stand the so full of herself look. suppose to go back to mark but just too lazy to do that..getting very used to 9 hours of slp and taking afternoon naps and just read leisurely and do my thgs at my own pace. a lot of stuff waiting to be done but just dont feel lk doing them at all..is that a sign?shd the sch's needs be of my concern?i blame it on the weather for my restful attitude..its been cooling and i just want to spend the time at home, packing my own things and reading my book. currently reading "tiger's child" by torey hayden, also author of "one child" which opened my eyes to a world where there are suffering children and its the same world we all live in. maybe its this book that draws my attention to children and therefore brought me to where i am now. in a class of forty, there are so many different personalities and so many needs yet the society im in, advocates that i propel these children at the same speed and to a common destination-to complete the syllabus. while i am proud of where i live, where democracy stands and where every child should be given an opportunity to learn in school, my heart goes out to those who have fallen short of the class standards cos of complicated family backgrounds and learning difficulties. more often than not, they are just given more attention, in hope that they will somehow spell better, complete their homework and improve in their grades. hw does putting everyone with the same or worse, different learning difficulties learn at the same speed and understanding?sometimes i cant help but give the credit to the tutor at home, cos i know the amt of time and attention i give to my kids are simply not good enough. maybe i wanna leave knowing that i cant really make a difference in their lives..perhaps i shd make one in mine. yes i want the recognition and reward but yah, kei is right, i need to look beyond that and do i relly want to part of the rat race as quoted by neh. look out for open doors..love this phrase in the book im reading, "his otherness she understood perfectly"off to bangkok with twinnie!!
Sunshine ; Wednesday, June 11, 2008