i completed my exam marking, keyed in my results, did my lesson obv but still feeling down. been soaked with feelings of incompetence, inadequateness and feeling unaccomplished. just feeling like breaking down these days..sigh ..weak

haven completed my resume yet..but why else can i write? aiyah does being a level rep for 3 years mean anythg to anyone outside? just organising camp mean anythg? i do want to get the job..cos it gives me a chance to develop myself and make me see things that i haven seen myself doing yet. i like this kind of fresh feeling. unlike now, i feel stale. something is just wrong.

read my students' compo and i feel very honoured to be the chinese teacher whom they adore. i feel very appreciated esp when they wrote so many things abt me which i didnt realised at all. i guess thats the satisfaction of being a teacher. tmr's is teacher's day, i received a gift from a student whom i no longer teach, i feel great! i feel comforted that they do remember you even if you dont teach them anymore, it signifies the impact you made on their lives.

all to teachers..HaPPie TeAChEr's Day!
Sunshine ; Thursday, August 28, 2008


sometimes i wonder if im being too lazy...being too lenient on myself..i supp i can be more efficient and work harder, i thnk i can push myself harder but just want to give myself excuses to rest, to slack, its as if someone or something is responsible for my lethargy and im just taking revenge by wasting time..

but i ask myself, "why do i need to push myself so hard? i deserve some break rite?" hence, i just go on my rest-pilgrimage, thinking that by resting more, ill work harder yet only the reverse is true, i just continue to rest, rest, rest until i so sian of rest, i become lethargic...there is never a finishing line to rest or a starting line to "ok lets move on"

the truth is, while i resent my current attitude, i haven found a perfect time to make any changes yet..ah man..

miss feeling and being princessy..
Sunshine ; Saturday, August 23, 2008


ok im stuck between completing my own work and sch's work.

1. plan lesson obv
2. complete my tmas
3. key in results
4. read up TAM

ahhh..what to do? tsk need to move on man , move on!!!

last night's tutorial was fun! my classmates are mostly teachers and we had fun discussing tho at one pt of time, this person was like summarising everythg that is not impt wrt to the tma at all..but we were polite enough to just listen to her hahha..

got extension for "chigh there-velopment" tma..now waiting for approval for psycholinguistics..

i wonder how i manage my first 2 years of unisim, i did almost everythg last min work yet still manage to do not so badly for it..ahahha i think i got high class bullshit like what praise said to me..hahaha..not bad at least its A grade bullshit..

i miss dancing..miss the smell of nissi room, miss wearing full ballet attire..when will my ankle be healed???

Sunshine ; Saturday, August 23, 2008


sigh..i feel extremely upset that by voicing out my marking load, it created such coldness. am i wrong in asking? why am i always given more to mark? what if i cant complete my marking? his 2 classes = 1 class of mine leh..this kind of distribution fair meh? aiyoh...i din not expect to increase anyone's workload but just want thgs to be done more fairly..why take it so adversly? anyway, as long as my work load is not any lesser, i dont think im in the wrong altho now it seems so. sian. so everyone shd just be quiet and accept whatever they are given? and that will define a good worker? sorry not my type. sigh...msg also dont want to reply..why this kind of attitude?





no mood to do my tmas..no mood to think of my lesson obv, no mood to buy ling's present. wasted time and energy feeling upset and all. luckily, mickey turned my day around and made me feel better :) thks dear!





fed mouse and watched them slp, run and eat...so cute my mouse!





bought tickets for mum to watch money not enough 2 which was a very touching show, teared a few times during the show and felt very related to the show. prob didnt see this side of the society before so the show was an eye opener for me, it just shocked me how much we cld disappoint our family members at times.



got champ for netball over the wkend at the sports day! *clap clap* eleanor and janet ng really played well and i tot we shd come toget more often to train, in the name of fitness!!



twinnie, you shd try netball again, doesnt matter the competitiveness, do it for gd health!

not gg to hokkaido anymore, have switched luxury for more rational spending and anyway, its bangkok! so no prob for me at all! smtimes need to use the brain rather than the heart!

anyway i dont agree that we dont have democracy in sg, we still have our rights to choose the more impt thgs,like our religion, our languages that we take, the values we learn in sch, above all, we still have a choice to vote for our government. i believe these thgs are more impt. and like what pastor said, "true freedom comes with boundaries". can you imagine if we dont have watch our speech, our mannerism, what kind of social probs will we face? if we dont fine pple who litter, spit, vandalise, what kind of filth will we be living in? i believe freedom in sg comes with the law and order, thats why we can live freely and safely here. cheers to sg! to me, its akin to how God treat us, we are free from bondages but we are still bound by commandments but God does that so that we are still able to watch ourselves and love others. so cheers to God too!

aiyah dont know why la...just feel very down..




Sunshine ; Tuesday, August 19, 2008


been feeling very tired these days...in fact only since yesterday and today and hopefully this fatigue will end soon...altho i dont know why but i dont want to feel so lethargic anymore!!!!! ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after attending the briefing, i dont know if i really want to try it..suddenly feel incompetent, no self-confidence, dont feel like taking up the challenge..hmmm what happened? am i really losing myself to the environment? have i been pushing myself too much?

i think i really need a gd break...a long long break..
Sunshine ; Wednesday, August 13, 2008



Sunshine ; Monday, August 11, 2008

this is the thai ronald mcdonald..*hands clasped*

thats twinnie holding onto him...i rem i forced her to tk this pict..hahaha

pandan cake for u? hahah it was kei's wedding day..we were busy preparing thgs to "tekan" them

here comes my reward! $$$$

Sunshine ; Monday, August 11, 2008





my nation which i proudly live in..

went dinner with kei, caleb and twinnie, altho it was only 4 of us but we had a great time! wanted to go the new v tea room which is called cookie museum now but it was full house so we went to park ourselves at tcc. talked quite a lot there and then got to talk church and all..makes me look back and think how far our church have gone. god is great.


the tot of work irks me but what else can i do rite? the lesson obv doesnt help either, it just adds on to my load and i feel extra sian if i realise it doesnt suit me or i cannot mk it.

went to east coast just now and had a relaxing time strolling along the beach and really love the air there. its so refreshing!

its really a gd break for me this wkend..

need to perk up more..i dont want to always feel sian and negative abt everythg..i dont to be a negative influence, i want to inspire pple..i want the pple ard me to feel happy when im ard, i want to feel gd abt myself..so socks up, let's go!
Sunshine ; Monday, August 11, 2008


哭了一场，感觉好多了......希望下来会更开心

altho its not my turn to take dance, i still stayed until 245pm and still haven taken lunch yet..sigh..
Sunshine ; Wednesday, August 06, 2008


slept for 5 hours in the afternoon and completed the day knocking out at 1030pm yesterday..this was what massive blood loss did to me. though im still alive but my body feels dead cos i feel very lethargic whole day and have no energy to do anythg at all..

dint feel good in school today so decided to come back home and google for LV neverfull..its another bag im targetting. maybe shd get down to the store to check it out.

candy bouquet dint fail me today and i think its really nice to receive such a bouquet of candies instead of the usual flowers. max provided excellent customer service... check out www.candybouquet.com.sg for gift ideas!!

i need sugar!!
Sunshine ; Tuesday, August 05, 2008