I'm just different.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
okay, first off day of the week and i get my sats off back again!! yes!! thank you, God and thank you, my boss. thank you for rewarding me.the chatterbox is back as per requested..heheham going to meet up with the girls later, yes! gossip time! hahhaa and catching up time as well. the last time we met was in may, for twinnie's bday and now we are meeting again, thats not too bad i think, we are meeting once a month at least. which is both glad and sad to know, we used to see each other almost every single day of the year and now we have to be contented with just meeting up, hopefully once a month. its just the same thing that happened once you leave your school upon graduation, all those promises to meet have vanished into bubbles. so im really glad that im meeting the girls today :) now and then i do see some familiar faces and usually i dont recall their names. the amazing thg is, ALL of whom i saw still recognise me and remember my name. alex : janet!me walking around with my clipboard, jumped to his voice and frantically trying to match his face to all the schs i have attended and processin his name at the same time.me: oh alex! *after 5 secs (not bad, i didnt have to buy 10s more to recall his name.) you look different!alex: you still look the same! same hairstyle. ( too which i disagree, how could i possibly highlighted my hair when i was in 3E3?!)you know when pple say you look the same, i dunno whether to take it as a compliment or not. does that mean i look as young as when i was 15? or i oredi looked like my age now when i was 15? why is it that pple who have seen me thru my years always say that i look the same aka younger than my actual age and pple who just met me thinks that im in my late twenties? why is my face so inconsistent? i think when i am at work,i look serious so that attributes to "you look 30."staff innocently asked : may i know how old are you?me: how "old" do you think i am?staff : 30?my heart broke into pieces and i looked over sternly : you dont have to come for work anymore.how does old and experienced relate to each other? are they always parallel to each other? i have held 3 full time and 2 pt jobs in my life which prob doesnt happen to someone who is much older than me. does that mean i am old? since teachin days i have established this belief in me, old doesnt mean experienced, of cos when you live longer, you are exposed to more experiences but if i can be exposed to the same opportunities too. but well, one thing that is true, when you are older, opportunities come to to you, when you are young, you need to create them yourself.ok im just trying to come up with some rubbish to eradicate the sick feeling of being called "30" even my mom has been remindin me that im almost there when i showed her a strand of gray hair altho i firmly believed its due to stress!!!anyway i think being with pple who are older or looks older may help me find my youth back. the sad thg is, im surrounded by pple who are younger than me 95% of the time :( my youth can only be found at home now. sad..SQ is married. its awesome to be part of the wedding esp when its someone whom you love and have been thru your growing years with you. i feel so glad for her that she has found someone whom she can spend her life with, lovingly. its just different when you attend your friend's wedding and your cousin's whom you dont really care abt. attending her wedding was more of an obligation than invitation. it was just sit and eat then go home kind of thg. sad but true.i saw her world wedding mag when i bought her world mag and was tempted to buy. but for wat? just wanted to buy and see the princessy gowns and little cute flowers they used to decorate the dining table or the calla lilies the bride will be holding in her hands. i suddenly recalled that when i was young, i liked to draw wedding gowns because they simply looked gorgeous in magazines. of cos i wasnt that artistic to come up with any proper drawings, the point is, i just like lookin at wedding gowns. i think SQ's maroon bustier gown was gorgeous and her blue cheongsam which made her looked like miss hongkong was also a fantastic choice.the breeze is lullaby-ing me to slp now but i shall not waste time slping. ill go read and yes, i prepared lunch and dinner for myself for the past 3 days! minus 3 days worth of oil and msg at work! *clap clap* its blue sky today, just hanging outside my balcony now..ahhh..i love blue sky..
Sunshine ; Wednesday, June 17, 2009